BWD: The Great Noodle Incidents
by Terrarian Creeper
Summary: Sometimes, things happen without warning, and simply disappear without ever being pointed out again. But what happened when no one was looking? What was the forgotten incident... the noodle incident? A basic extra story to detail the hidden and forgotten mentions in my other fic, Boundless World of Danmaku. Rated T for mild swearing and suggestiveness.
1. Don't Do Drugs, Kids

**Welcome to my secondary fic, Boundless World of Danmaku: The Noodle Incidents! This is an accompanying fic to Boundless World of Danmaku, so you'll have to read that to understand what happens here. For the readers of BWD, this is an expansion on what happens when no one's looking. For instance, what Cirno was doing before Reimu showed up, the day-to-day life of the Myouren Temple, little things like that which I felt needed a little more life.**

**For new readers, just sit back and enjoy the ride!**

**Note: Chapters of Noodle Incident will be slightly shorter than chapters in BWD.**

**Now, for this chapter's situation (for those of you who are lost): Cirno caught wind of a certain doctor's shady new drugs and a rumor that one of them can make you incredibly smart. Naturally, being the nineball that she is, she decides she wants whatever the others are going on about, because it must be good. And so, taking Daiyousei with her, the nineball has begun her infiltration plan of Eirin's clinic...**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Cirno-chan, this is a terrible idea."

"Hush, Dai-chan! Soon, I'll get my hands on that doctor's new drugs, and I'll be the smartest _and_ the strongest! Kekeke!"

Daiyousei groaned in despair as her friend broke into another quiet evil laugh, then gasped and clamped her mouth shut as a bunny hopped by. It looked at the bush they were hiding in quizzically, but turned around and hopped away rather quickly. Daiyousei let out a sigh of relief as it disappeared from sight. "We almost got busted…"

"What's the problem with that?" Cirno protested rather loudly. "What could a few bunny rabbits do to the strongest?"

"Never mind." The last rabbit hopped out of Eirin's clinic, sniffing the air tentatively before hopping away after the other rabbits. Why did that NEET even keep so many of them? "Oh, they're gone. But before you do anything, Cirno-chan, at least–"

_Whoosh!_

"Check… first…" Daiyousei sat down on the nearby tree stump, sighing. 'Why did she deal with Cirno?' some people asked. They never did get a response. It was something her big sis told her to do, to keep an eye on the Misty Lake since that vampire moved in, but then Cirno wandered in and decided to live there. If it wasn't for sis' words, the greater fairy of the lake probably would've throttled the ice fairy by now. After all, there were perks to being the sibling of a monster like –

Daiyousei coughed quietly, breaking her own train of thought. She'd leave the exposition on that for another time. She realized it'd been exactly nine seconds since Cirno went charging in. Why hadn't anything started exploding yet…?

"Oh no…" Daiyousei's eyes widened as she flew for the door, wrenching it open and throwing herself inside. If Cirno _ever_ made a plan that didn't fall apart in nine seconds, it could only mean bad things.

Sure enough, when the lake fairy finally found the ice fairy, she noticed a faintly glowing red vial in her hands. "Cirno…"

"I found it!" Cirno danced about a little as she hugged the little vial close to her, careful not to smash it. Calming down a little, she tugged off the cap and drank it all in one go, throwing aside the empty bottle without a care. "Now, people will have to admit that I'm the best at everything!"

_Clink._

The discarded vial tapped off of someone's foot ever so lightly, her red-blue dress shifting as she stooped to pick it up. "Experiment 93…" Eirin Yagokoro whipped around to stare at Cirno, who was dancing once more. "No! Number 93's effects weren't clear enough for me to dilute them! It's not even tested on Reisen yet!"

"W-what are you talking about?" Daiyousei was rather cowed by the normally impassive doctor's outburst.

"Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no…" Eirin rocketed past her, pushing Cirno to the ground as she flung open the cabinet behind the ice fairy, searching feverishly for the counteragents. "Where'd I put it!?"

"Um, Eirin-san, what's wrong?"

She pointed a finger at the nineball who was still dancing. "_That's_ the problem! I haven't had a chance to balance the dosage of what she just drank!" She went back to the cabinet, barely sparing each vial a half-glance before tossing it wildly behind her.

"What's the doc going on about?" Cirno finally stopped laughing.

"Cirno, what'd you drink?" Daiyousei looked at the ice fairy, terrified at the prospect of her friend metamorphosing into something horrifying.

"I drank a smartifying drink, Dai-chan!" Cirno clapped the other fairy on the back. "Cheer up, it's not like there's supposed to be a limit! The strongest can take on any overdose and walk away!"

Just then, something happened. Cirno abruptly stopped moving, a look of shock and terror on her features. "What the…?"

A thin layer of ice spread out rapidly, covering every exposed surface of the room, as Cirno began to shake. Eirin looked up, having found nothing of use in her cabinet. "Daiyousei, _run!_"

"But Cirno is–"

"There's no time for that!" Seizing the fairy by the back of her neck, Eirin barrelled out the doors, easily kicking them down and rolling away, coming up with her bow in hand. Her tone having turned grim, she explained. "I found my old notes on Vial 93."

"What does it do…?" Daiyousei didn't really want to know.

"Enhances conscious thinking to roughly 450% of normal capacity." Eirin watched her clinic slowly grow over with a layer of ice. "And…

"Increases physical and magical capabilities by over 900%."

As if on cue, the roof of Eirin's clinic splintered like matchwood, a colossal pillar of energy lashing out as the summer air instantly plummeted to below zero, a blizzard instantly forming in the area. The pillar of light faded, but the snowstorm continued to rage, battering at the two with biting temperatures. As snow began to form on the ground, Cirno stepped into the open.

Her closed eyes slowly opened, revealing her eyes had turned to a shining, glowing blue. Her six icicle wings had condensed and connected into a single pair of wings that still floated just above her back. The fairy's hair had grown out rapidly, falling from shoulder-length all the way to her waist. The dress she always wore had been altered slightly, the ice it was formed from shifting and clicking quietly as she moved. Rather than the full dress she'd once wore, it'd been modified to instead resemble a cross between a longcoat and a dress, with a second, smaller black dress under it. Her iconic ribbon remained in her hair, as well as the pink neckerchief around her neck. Instead of bare arms, she now had a pair of detached sleeves to cover them, almost identical to the red-white miko's. Her shoes had been traded away for a pair of dark blue boots, a set of black thigh-highs underneath them.

She sighed in relief as she flexed her wings, savouring the feeling of a proper set of wings. Made with precise, almost snowflake-esque design, they were deceptively durable. Stretching a little, she smiled at the astounded doctor. "Thanks for the medicine, Eirin-san. Now you know what it does and I get to keep its effects."

Coming out of her shock, Eirin snapped back to reality. "Look here, Cirno, you're not keeping its effects. I need you to stay here until we find the cure for it. It might have unintended side effects to boot."

The ice fairy giggled at that statement. "You say it like intelligence is a plague. I'd rather enjoy being capable of sentient thought for a change, thank you."

She raised a hand in front of her own face and flexed it, frost twinkling on her fingertips. "I think I need to test this power…"

Stretching her wings again for a moment, she took to the skies. Daiyousei came out of her reverie and began to fly after the fairy. "Cirno, wait up!"

Eirin turned around and looked at the ruins of her clinic. It'd been torn to pieces by Cirno's change, and it'd probably take forever to clean up. Good thing she's been closing up before Cirno got in. Sighing, the doctor called out, "Reisen?"

A rustling of leaves, and Reisen ran into the clearing. "Eirin-sama, what do you need? What's… wrong…" She trailed off as she stared at the devastation left by Cirno. "Eirin-sama, do I have to tell Kaguya-sama that you've been playing with shady drugs again?"

Eirin flinched. "N-no, I just need your help cleaning this all up."

Reisen stared at her. "_Riiiiiiiight…_"

**– TOUHOU –**

The nineball flew to a stop a ways away from the Scarlet Devil Mansion. "Hmm… that gate guard's sleeping again. Might as well wake her up." Dismounting the tree she'd landed on, Cirno walked over to the sleepy Meiling and poked her in the stomach. "Wake up, Meiling-san."

No response. The little nose bubble refused to pop. Cirno tried stomping on the girl's foot. Nothing. She poked an icicle into her ear. Zip. Kicking her in the side. She just rolled over and went back to sleep. Cirno sighed and gave up, walking past the sleeping guard. As soon as her foot landed past Meiling, she shot up like a rocket, eyes wide open as if she'd never been sleeping. "Halt, intruder!" Then she blinked as she stared at Cirno. "Um… you're that ice fairy, right?"

"Yes. And you're sleeping on the job."

Meiling shrugged. "I can still wake up on my own, you know! The only person who gets past me is that witch, and I don't think anything can keep her out."

"Somehow, I doubt that," deadpanned Cirno. She made to take another step forward, but suddenly found Meiling blocking her path. "Hmm?"

"I'm sorry, Cirno, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that." Meiling smiled grimly as she adopted a defensive stance. "Please leave the premises or be escorted out by force."

Cirno reached up to her own wing, snapping off a branch and instantly regenerating it. In her hands, the icicle expanded and warped, transforming from a mere hunk of ice into a jagged sword, almost as long as Cirno was tall. Running a finger along the edge, Cirno giggled quietly. "A spell card duel, then? For the right to pass?"

"You've never won one of those," scoffed Meiling.

"You've never fought me as I am," countered Cirno. A swipe of the sword, and Meiling was sent reeling.

Shaking it off, her hands began to glow with chi. "You've gotten a lot stronger since a month ago, huh?"

"You could say that." Cirno hefted the sword across her shoulder. "But I think you should just let me through… _Chi-na._"

A blur of movement, and Meiling's swipe kick was intercepted by Cirno's raised hand. The youkai tried to push away Cirno's guard, but the fairy simply flicked her wrist, twisting the martial artist into an extremely painful position. In the back of her mind, Cirno noted that one twitch could've dislocated every single joint in her body simultaneously.

Meiling's tone was incredulous and pain-wracked as she tried to break free. "How did you… learn that?"

"A little birdie told me, I suppose you could say."

_Crack!_

Cirno gritted her teeth in pain as she forced her shoulder back into place, Meiling's palm strike having instantly snapped it out of its socket. The gate guard got up quickly, wringing out her joints. "Whew, that was quite the grip you pulled off; I never saw it before. Who taught you that, anyways?"

Cirno extended her wings, slamming them into the ground and sending a wave of ice out at incredible speed. Before Meiling could even react, she'd been trapped by Cirno, the ice having immediately scaled her legs and frozen her to the floor at the knees. "I taught myself."

_Smash!_

Meiling found herself upside-down in the mansion wall. Pulling herself free, she leapt out again. Cirno leaned back, Meiling's energized fist barely skimming an inch over her face. Reaching up, Cirno wrapped an arm around Meiling's own and whirled, bending the joint into a horrible position. Taking advantage of the youkai's split-second moment of pain, Cirno generated an icicle and plunged it into Meiling's back. The gate guard gasped once and fell, Cirno dropping her unceremoniously.

The ice fairy smirked as she watched the temporarily paralyzed youkai struggle to rise. "Don't bother; that icicle I put in you? It'll sever a few nerves in your spinal cord, so you won't be going anywhere for a couple hours. Well, maybe minutes if your regeneration is good enough and the ice melts away. Even so, it'll be plenty enough time for this." Raising her sword into the air, she pointed its tip at the ground as she declared a spell card. _"Drown Sign – Sub-Zero Waters."_

A flash flood, formed from ice and instantly melted, swept away Meiling, refreezing even as it crashed against the outer walls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. As Meiling was embedded in the wall once more, a flash of light surrounded her, and Cirno's deluge was instantly frozen once more, sealing the gate guard in the ice, unable to move at all. Of course, there was _just_ enough holes in the ice to allow her to breath. Cirno wasn't a killer. However, it was also dense enough to completely prevent her from moving at all.

The gate guard stared furiously at Cirno as she sauntered by easily. "Oh, by the way, you might get freezer burn in there. Such a shame. Nonetheless, at least you have an excuse to nap for a few hours. Knock yourself out."

Meiling raged impotently at the fairy from inside her prison before settling down. Actually, the ice wasn't _that_ cold, and it blocked out the sun a fair bit. Maybe a nap wouldn't be such… such a bad… idea…


	2. Dio Brando, Is That You?

**Welcome to chapter 2! Not much to say here, aside from the usual; Please R&R, constructive criticism wanted, same scenario as last time, blah blah blah.**

**Anyways, just enjoy the story!**

**– TOUHOU –**

"Even more of you? This barely even slows me down…"

Countless fairy maids were scattered across the halls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, many sealed in ice, the luckier ones disintegrating to regenerate later. Standing in the middle of the hallway was Cirno, surrounded by a field of ice as she lowered her arm, the hand sparking with energy. The crimson corridor was splashed wildly with half-melted icicles and unconscious fairies. The Seraph of Ice casually walked by a barely-alive fairy, graciously ending its life – at least for an hour – and sheathed the sword diagonally across the back of her waist in a manner reminiscent of a certain half-ghost gardener.

Cirno frowned as she ran a hand along the colossal double doors at the end of the hallway. Countless intricate runes were etched along its surface in overlapping spells, glowing ominously as Cirno deciphered the runes – and how to dispel them.

"Well played, Patchouli…" Cirno watched the runes flicker as her hand glided over them. "Set up a trap to force out anyone who tries to disarm the trap you rigged with another trap… Clever." She laid her hand flat against the door, a thin layer of ice coating it. "However, for all the precautions you took, it seems you forgot to properly reinforce…

_"This."_

The doors exploded outwards, flipping through the air as Cirno blasted them away with a pinpoint surge of magic, laid down with almost surgical precision. Not even stopping, Cirno simply walked forward as a gauntlet of steel pillars smashed apart the hallway behind her.

"So that's how you beat Meiling," murmured a voice from behind a bookshelf.

"Hello, Patchouli." Cirno stepped into view. The asthmatic wizard had apparently been setting up since the moment Cirno set foot inside the mansion. Dozens of open spell books orbited Patchouli, her eyes glazed and distant and she focused on Cirno. Hovering beside her side worriedly was Koakuma, the little devil looking back and forth between the two.

"We both know what you're here for," said Patchouli.

Cirno nodded. "The usual rules?"

"Of course. However, I will not be the one to fight you at the moment." Patchouli raised a hand and pointed it at Cirno. Leaping back, the fairy narrowly avoided being impaled on a series on emerald spikes. As she froze the saw blades that Patchouli threw at her next, Cirno heard the wizard call out. "Sakuya~"

"You–!" Cirno hissed in pain as a knife embedded itself in her arm. Being technically immortal, she and all the other fairies had been exempt from the spell card rules of non-lethality. Now, it was really biting her in the butt as Sakuya appeared at Patchouli's side.

"Yes, Patchy-san?" Sakuya was cool and collected as ever, save from using the wizard's nickname.

"We have an early guest. Amuse her for a little, if you please." Floating into the air, Patchouli turned and flew off slowly. "It seems we will have _other_ visitors soon."

"Understood." Sakuya turned to face Cirno, dozens of knives already in her hands. "Are you ready?"

Pulling out the knife, Cirno tossed it aside and drew her icicle sword, nodding.

The maid reached into her apron's pocket. A brief glimmer of gold, and Sakuya whirled maniacally, countless knives bouncing off of every available surface. Cirno quickly calculated the trajectory of each knife and took off, barely brushing past them. Then, the world flashed once, and Cirno found that each knife had multiplied, quadrupling and flying about even more hazardously. Swiping a knife out of the way, Cirno generated a five-foot-long icicle in her hand and flipped it into the air, holding it like she would a javelin and levelled it at Sakuya.

In a blink of an eye, the maid had warped several feet over, the javelin shattering harmlessly against the magically reinforced bookshelves. She pocketed the watch and ran forward to intercept Cirno, blocking the fairy's knee-kick with a well-placed arm. Twitching her wrist, Sakuya smiled as she flipped a hidden knife around her hand, dropping it into a backhanded stabbing position and thrusting.

Cirno leapt away, grimacing with pain as she ran a thin layer of ice over the cut. Any slower, and she'd have certainly been incapacitated.

"What's wrong?" Sakuya's condescending voice called out. Raising her head, Cirno flicked her wrist, a glacier erupted from the ground to block another wave of projectile knives. "Can't keep up?"

Sakuya appeared for the briefest instant beside Cirno, but as she turned, the maid disappeared, leaving a knife in the fairy's leg. She reappeared behind Cirno, but vanished just as quickly. Slowly, steadily, Sakuya began to flit in and out of existence at incredible speed, looking as if there were multiples of the maid, surrounding Cirno.

"Your illusion is poorly constructed." Cirno levelled her sword at an empty space and jabbed as Sakuya appeared directly in front of it – and _phased_ through the tip as she disappeared again. "What the–"

"Too slow." Sakuya sneered as she appeared in front of Cirno, arms crossed smugly.

"You did nothing but taunt m – _argh!_" Cirno staggered as dozens of shallow cuts raced across her frame, countless knives clattering to the floor around her. "You… how?"

Sakuya tossed a knife into the air and caught it easily. "Manipulation of time isn't just stopping and resuming it. I can make you register the cuts much later than you would normally, for instance. Or simply arrest my knives' movement and resume it when I want to."

"I should have seen this coming." Cirno dropped to one knee and slammed a palm against the ground. Eyes widening in surprise, Sakuya slid to the side as an ice pillar erupted from under her feet – and promptly tripped and fell on the cold ground.

Getting up immediately, Sakuya stared at Cirno in shock. "When did you do that?"

"You're not the only one who can play mind games, Sakuya-san." Cirno grinned as she snatched her sword from the ground beside her and tossed it at Sakuya. However, as it slammed against the wall directly behind the maid, it exploded, the force of the ice bomb tossing the maid to the ground once more. As Sakuya tried to get up from the slippery ground, Cirno pulled a spell card from her sleeves.

_"Afterlife Sign – Tribute to the Ferryman."_

A set of solid ice gates emblazoned with the visage of a demon formed behind Cirno, a set of jet-black chains binding it shut. The chains receded, unlocking the gate as they vanished behind it. The gates rapidly opened, dark blue light spilling out as it spat icicle danmaku about wildly, throwing Sakuya head-over-heels through the air. The gate closed, and Cirno leapt after the airborne maid. As Sakuya started to recover, Cirno spun, clocking the maid's face soundly with a solid boot to the jaw, flipping her sideways into the walls of Voile. Sakuya opened an eye, then went quickly for her pocket watch as she saw Cirno flying on a collision course with her.

The wall crumbled under Cirno's assault, Sakuya having barely dropped to the ground in a messy heap. Raising her head, she blinked at the sight of her Luna Dial glaring back at her. She reached out for it, but was immediately stopped as Cirno stomped hard on her arm.

"Nice try, Sakuya-san." Cirno grinned as she twirled her sword in her hand, bringing the tip down to bear on the maid.

Sakuya shifted, glaring at Cirno. "You haven't seen anything yet." With a burst of strength, she flung the fairy off of her, snatching up her pocket watch even as she cast her spell card. _"ZA WARUDO!"_

Immediately, the world turned monochrome, and Cirno found herself trapped helplessly in place as Sakuya casually stepped up to her. _"Toki wo tomare…_

**_"KIAI!"_**

Drawing dozens of knives in each hand, Sakuya flung them into the air, each one stopping the instant they left her hands. Stepping back with each successive wave of knives, Sakuya finally stopped, her many hidden recesses of knives finally bled dry. Leaning against a bookshelf easily, she muttered, _"Soshite, toki ga yugoki desu…"_

A flash of light, and time resumed.

Cirno tried to produce an ice shield in the split-second she had, but it shattered under the incredible amount of weaponry Sakuya had produced. As the last of the knives slammed into her hole-riddled body, Sakuya stopped time once more, leaping into the air and crushing Cirno under a mountain of silverware and assorted cutlery. _"WRRYYYYYY!"_

The mountain exploded outwards, Cirno having smashed her way free. The ground stained red and black, she limped to her feet, glaring at Sakuya. "What was that…?"

The maid shrugged and threw a thin book at her. "I picked it up from one of Patchy-san's manga archives. Ojou-sama should really find something else to do in her spare time."

"Please say you did not copy–"

"Bite me."

Several seconds of silence passed between Sakuya and Cirno, the latter still bleeding out. Eventually, the maid broke the silence. "Shall we get back to killing each other?"

"…"

"…"

_"Hades Sign – Three Furies."_

A trio of glowing danmaku orbs formed around Cirno, orbiting her and throwing off smaller danmaku as Cirno rushed back into the fray, grabbing her sword as she went. Twirling it around her, the fairy ground to a halt against Sakuya's crossed daggers. Cirno raised an eyebrow. "Daggers, not knives?"

"I carry more than one set of weapons," explained the maid. She pushed away Cirno and jabbed at her stomach, but was forced to back away as the danmaku came around, trying to hit her.

One of the danmaku orbs split off from its orbit around Cirno and sped up, flying towards Sakuya, who ducked it and then was forced to leap over it as it bounced back for another pass. Landing on the ground, Sakuya tossed a wave of knives at Cirno to impede her approach and backed away. She drew her stopwatch –

And watched it skitter away across the ice-covered floor, Cirno having shot it clean out of her hands. Noting the maid's distraction, Cirno dashed forward and sent her reeling with a roundhouse kick. As she tried to recover, the seraph raised an elbow and dropped it hard onto Sakuya's back, slamming her face-first into the ground. Once more, she got up, just as Cirno raised a hand high into the air, calling the three Furies to her. A flick of the hand, and the danmaku rocketed at Sakuya.

The maid bounced out of the smoke, sliding across the floor as Cirno raced after her, expertly gliding across the ice as if she were a skater. Kicking Sakuya high into the air, Cirno snapped off a part of her wing to form a second sword. Leaping into the air, Cirno spun faster and faster until she was a vortex of sub-zero death, ready to grind Sakuya to a fine pulp.

For once, the perfect and elegant maid cursed.

_Pichuun~_

**– TOUHOU –**

**Oh come on, how could I use the SDM without bringing in Sakuya? And how could I bring in Sakuya without using Za Warudo?**

**Sue me.**

**(please don't actually sue me)**

**Also, I chose a bowl of noodles for the cover image to make the most pathetic pun of all time. I know, I suck at puns...**


	3. What is a Man?

**Hello, everyone! Final chapter for Cirno's Perfect Mansion Invasion Class. Please enjoy.**

**Oh, by the way, either Touhou UNL's Septette for the Dead Princess or Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow's Dance of Illusions should be played while reading this. You'll understand.**

**– TOUHOU –**

The Scarlet Devil Mansion.

A towering grisly visage of stone and brick, it loomed over the horizon of the Misty Lake, silently challenging all to approach it. The clock tower that made up the highest point of the vampire's housing ticked on, gears twisting and turning with its depths. And at the very pinnacle of this tower was the chamber of the Scarlet Devil herself, Remilia Scarlet.

An air of confidence surrounded her as she sat on the high balcony, but not arrogance, for this was a mistress who would gladly feast on your blood to prove a point. A palpable scarlet aura emanated from her, her crimson eyes fixed on something no one else could see in the distance. The velvet throne she rested upon creaked ever so slightly as she shifted, a tall glass of blood following her movements as she swirled the red liquid. She quietly drank from the glass, savouring the metallic taste.

Behind her, a set of stairs spun around the perimeter of the clock tower, winding down into the blood-red mansion. Cogs and gears clicked as they spun, hundreds of interlocking pieces of machinery weaving its way up the clock tower. Remilia closed her eyes as the massive clock's second hand twitched above her, twelve echoing gongs fading into the distance. As she opened them again, she tasted the scent of fresh blood upon the air – _frigid_ blood. In a quiet but firm tone, the vampire spoke. "You took your precious time coming up here."

"I suppose I did." Cirno nonchalantly leaned against the doorframe, watching the back of the Scarlet Devil. "I think it's time you paid for all the times you sent your maid out for me for a fresh serving of blood."

"It was not by my hand I was made this way." Remilia's visible hand clenched around the armrest of her throne, the wood cracking under her iron grip. "I was turned by Tepes himself, who saw fit to allow humanity to pay me tribute."

"Your words are more bloodstained than your hands." Cirno pushed off the door, drawing her sword from its scabbard in a single fluid motion. "Men need a champion such as you."

Remilia tossed aside her glass, the blood within it splattering on the floor as she whirled, the throne beneath her torn instantly to shreds. Opening the parasol beside her, Remilia spat, "And what is a man? Nothing more than a miserable little pile of secrets." The air began to flicker, a bloody hexagram forming behind the Scarlet Devil. "Enough talk. _Have at you!_"

The vampire's outline blurred, dissolving into a swarm of bats as they flew into the air and swooped down upon Cirno. For every bat she sliced apart, another five would take its place. Each bat landed behind her, condensing once more into a single form that leapt up. Remilia's hand crackled with energy, lancing out forward and backward to form into a colossal spear larger than Remilia herself. Heaving it with one hand, she fired, launching herself back with the sheer force. _"Divine Spear – Spear the Gungnir!"_

Under Cirno's feet, the floor crackled, a wave of ice exploding outwards as she moved. Skating across the surface like an expert, Cirno easily slid out of the path of the lethal spear. She flapped her wings once, flying forward with a burst of strength. Remilia effortlessly blocked the seraph's decapitating blow with a shining scarlet spear; the proper form of her Gungnir, much like her younger sister's Laevateinn. Pushing aside the ice fairy, her lightning-quick jab was deflected to the side, the spear racing along the flat of Cirno's sword to splinter the wall behind her. Spinning rapidly, Cirno brought the sword down on Remilia time and again, opening numerous cuts on her body and launching her into the open with a forceful spin kick.

_"Scarlet Gensokyo!"_ Remilia raised a hand and cast her infamous scarlet mist, coalescing into a cloud that covered the entirety of the vampire's mansion. Slowly, danmaku began to rain from the sinister cloud as Remilia prepared another Gungnir.

"Not even going to hold back an inch…" Cirno grinned cockily as her former attitude began to bleed out. "Fine with me! _Sub-Zero Sign – Frost Balmung!"_

A furious wave of ice blasted forth, dozens of icy spikes and pillars rocketing out of the ground at Cirno's command. Sneering, Remilia easily flew back and forth in the deluge and fired Gungnir at the seraph – only to watch in shock as Cirno _shot back_ the spear with nothing but her own strength and the sword in her hands. Formed with the basis of the legendary Balmung, it was a colossal sword on par with Remilia's full-power Gungnir. The hilt alone was colossal, and the blade formed of danmaku was even larger as the edge whipped back and forth like a chainsaw. The very air around the blade was well below zero, snow falling from its edge as Cirno smirked. "What now, Remilia?"

_"This."_ Throwing a hand out behind her, Remilia cackled as six massive spears of energy descended from the clouds above them and arranged themselves behind her. "Dodge this!" A sweeping gesture, and the spears flew out in rapid succession, homing in on Cirno as she prepared to dodge.

The first Gungnir was blasted out of the way, the second was deflected with the flat of her sword once more, the third ducked under, and the last three simply sidestepped. Wings glowing, Cirno rocketed forward, Balmung in hand. "Is that it? I expected more from the Scarlet Devil!"

"You will regret your very existence!" Remilia extended her claws and fangs, already preparing for the bloody feast. Raising her hand, ring of crimson and blue danmaku was scattered as Cirno and Remilia clashed. The vampire spread out her fingers, curling them into five deadly daggers and plunged in. Cirno brutally kneed Remilia in the gut and spun, Balmung following her in a colossal swirling arc of death as she slammed it down upon the Scarlet Devil's head–

Remilia brought up Gungnir, the two weapons grating against each other. Shifting her weight, Remilia forced Cirno off-balance and rammed Gungnir into her chest, letting the danmaku spear explode at point-blank range.

The seraph was swatted out of the sky, crashing against the wall of the clock tower and then through it. Eyes racing across the clockworks, Cirno slammed a hand against a nearby gear and froze it solid, the entire delicate machine seizing up. Sure enough, when enough tension was built, gears began to pop out of their joints, rebounding in the confined space and cracking apart the tower. Cirno gave a mock-salute to the vampire and dropped out of sight.

"Get back here, peddling fairy!" Remilia gave chase, carefully weaving around the fragmented clock tower as each successive impact brought it closer to collapse. Far ahead of her, she saw Cirno blast through a pair of doors. Gritting her teeth, Remilia just barely made it through before the clock tower finally gave way, sinking under its own pressure and imploding, the walls shattering like matchwood and bringing the entire construct crashing to the ground and crushing the west wing of the Scarlet Devil Mansion under its weight.

Remilia finally caught up to Cirno down a hallway that had been blocked off by the clock tower, tasting the fear and the blood on the wind. "There is nowhere to run now, fairy. Accept your bloody fate."

"I don't think I will, actually." Cirno revealed a concealed bloodstained hand and opened it. Dozens of sealing charms fluttered to the ground, where she crushed them mercilessly under her boot. "Guess who I found locked in the dungeon."

"Y-you're bluffing." Remilia began to feel panic herself, realizing the tables had turned. "_You're bluffing! _There's no way a mere fairy like you could have broken the seal placed on the basement! Reimu herself performed the sealing ritual!"

"A fairy couldn't," she agreed. "Except I'm not a fairy."

Remilia realized too late that ice had begun to creep up from behind her, rooting her feet to the ground as it spread.

Cirno grinned. "Your little sister wants to see you, _Remi-chan._"

"Oh no…"

_Bang…_

Cirno continued as she savoured the vampire's terror. "You think I just sank your clock tower because I felt like it? Please. I had a plan in the works the whole time. And that plan was geared entirely around letting your unstable little sister loose. True, the charms you used were of very high quality. Very few spells could have possibly severed them. However…"

_Bang._

"They were poorly made when it came to brute force."

**_SMASH!_**

The clock tower splintered in half, floating into the air as a surge of scarlet energy blasted from underneath them. Falling to the ground, the clock tower broke the ground apart, plummeting into the holding place of Flandre Scarlet. Wild storms of energy and danmaku flew through the air. Cirno stood in the midst of it all, a mad grin plastered across her face as she watched. Behind her, Remilia let out a guttural roar and charged, claws poised to smash through the fairy's undefended back.

A whirl of motion, and Remilia found herself pinned underneath her would-be victim. Cirno smiled as blood trickled down her forearm, cut open when she used it to spin Remilia around and to the ground. "Thank you for doing that. It saves me the trouble of bringing out your sister."

"Even if you deal with me using her," Remilia spat, "You'd still have to bring my sister down!"

"I know." Cirno got up, one foot holding Remilia's head to the ground. Sheathing Balmung, she instead brought up a hand, ice dancing along it. It expanded into a giant mallet she had once been infamous for. Rearing back like a golfer, Cirno smiled sadistically.

_"Fore."_

The mallet fell.

The vampire was sent skittering across the floor at ludicrous speed, tumbling head over heels from Cirno's strike. The fairy winced as she watched Remilia slam into the side of the downed clock tower, slowly listing to the side and sliding into the basement. Dazed, the vampire could do nothing as she fell. However, she opened her eyes in seconds after impact, feeling the pain of broken bones throughout her body. Looking up, two pairs of crimson eyes met.

"Remi-chan!"

The Scarlet Devil paled as she recognized the familiar glow around her younger sister's body. She was going to go into an _episode_ again. Sure enough, a hand clamped down around her wrist, the abused appendage making an unhealthy crackling noise as Flandre easily wrenched her older sister out of the wreckage. Gently swinging the vampire back and forth, Flandre spoke. "Remi-chan, can we play~?"

Now, as anyone should know in Gensokyo, Flandre's definition of _play_ was less 'have fun' play, a lot more 'torch everything' play. Remilia made a quiet sound of protest as Flandre's eyes and wings glowed, the crystals turning a uniform scarlet. Leaning back, Flandre lashed out like a whip, propelling her older sister forward through a wall. Hopping in joy, Flandre clapped her hands in excitement. "That was a funny trick! Do it again! _Do it again!"_

Her voice suddenly warped, as if two people were speaking at once. Barely getting up, Remilia dodged around Flandre's outstretched claws by the smallest of margins. Missing her target, Flandre instead barreled into the wall behind Remilia, collapsing it on herself. Not one to waste opportunity, Remilia shakily limped forward on one knee, trying to get out before Flandre came to. Sadly, it was not to be.

Remilia opened the grand doors of the basement to see Flandre's clone staring at her.

The clone pouted as it placed both hands behind its back. "Aw, are you running? I thought we were playing. That's not nice! Ooh, I know!" It pointed a finger into the air. "We'll play Flan-chan Tag!" And once more picking up Remilia, it dragged off the Scarlet Devil. Two more clones and the real Flandre appeared, having burst out of her self-made rocky prison. On a quick nod, the three clones split up and ran away, one of them having tossed Remilia at the real Flandre at speed. Naturally, Flandre caught her older sister without a hitch, accidentally scraping the vampire's face across the concrete ground as she pulled her up. "No, me! Come back! I want to play with myself some more~"

Rendered helpless, Remilia quietly sobbed for Sakuya as the four vampire children tossed her about the mansion.

**– TOUHOU –**

**Innocent little Flan-chan doesn't know what she's saying...**

**And yes. Yes, it takes a lot for this Remilia to have a charisma break. Oh, well. Sorry if it feels a little dark in here.**


End file.
